Superhero Kool-Aid

"She acts like Summer and walks like rain

Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey, hey

Since the return of her stay on the moon

She listens like Spring and she talks like June..."

- Drops of Jupiter, Train

***

I was asked yesterday "If you were a car with manual transmission, what gear would you say you are operating in now?"

Hmmm.... well, isn't that a great question.

I thought for a second, and then said confidently, "4th.   

I am operating in 4th gear.  I'm not at the beginning, there isn't much I would change and I'm definitely in the flow of much that I do.   

But I have a clear vision of 6th.   

6th gear, I am standing on a stage in an auditorium full of people.   I am wearing high heels (God help me) and I have one of those Madonna-type headsets on.   I am using the full range of the stage and I have the entire audience captivated.   In that gear, I can walk into any Indigo and see my name on the shelf.   That's 6th.   

I am in 4th."

In order for me to achieve 6th gear, I have to ask myself a question to any personal or professional decision I have to make.

"Is this choice going to bring me closer to that stage or farther away?"

***

Change and evolution are funny things.

They require discipline, action, perseverance and a little bit of faith.

Transformation also requires an wavering belief that at some magical, undetermined point in the future, the vision will become a reality.

Roots form, habits take hold and unseen progress occurs, and then POOF! - just like that - what appears to others as overnight success, is results from diligence, repetition and relentless effort.  

And many times, it happens right as you are about to throw the towel in.

***

One of the best compliments I've ever received is from a stranger.

I was walking along the boardwalk at 6am when I passed a woman  I'd seen a few times before.   I smile and say hello to everyone I see when I walk, but this lady usually has earphones in, so I normally just wave.   This particular day, she pulled out her ear phones and smiled at me.  She said "There she is!   YOU are my inspiration!  Every morning when I want to lie in bed for 5 more minutes, I think of your daily discipline and I tie up my shoes."

I was completely floored to think that I had this impact on someone I'd never even met, but I'd also not realized the consistency of my own discipline.

If I'm honest, I haven't always felt I've had a positive impact.   

I spent an enormous amount of time in conflict between who I was and who I wanted to be, feeling like somewhat of a fraud - not believing I could uphold the vision that I had for myself, and reeling in disappointment and obsession over what I deemed as my failures.

There is a brilliant line in the Avengers End Game movie about this.  

One of the characters feels like a failure at what he was believed was his path.

His Mother says to him, "Everyone fails at who they are supposed to be.  The measure of a person - of a Hero - is how well they succeed at being who they are."

(I would like to add that I have officially finished every Marvel movie....I cried so hard during most of the 3 hours of End Game that I am extremely glad I did not see it in a theatre and clearly became rather attached to the characters.  Even Captain America...   I even learned to love him too.  Who woulda thought?)

To change is a choice.

A conscious choice that we can only make when we are ready and have had enough of our own shit and wish to embrace what feels true to who we really are.

Changing, for me, has been an evolution that has occurred in bits and pieces over several years. I have felt something stronger than myself causing a realignment and offering support to rewrite the principles I want to live by.

It is what I am now lovingly referring to as my Superhero Kool-Aid, but in all seriousness, it has taken time, focus and repetitive programming to achieve.   

It is also something that anyone can create who is willing to commit to the process.

***

Do not google "drinking the Kool-Aid."

Actually you won't have to anyways, because I'm going to share with you how Wikipedia has educated me on the term "drinking the Kool-Aid" and then you will likely never, ever use it again - ever. 

(Or will you?)

".....Drinking the Kool-Aid is an expression used to refer to a person who believes in a possibly doomed idea because of the perceived potential high rewards.  The phrase often carries a negative connotation.  It can also be used to refer to accepting an idea or changing a preference due to popularity, peer pressure or persuasion.   In recent years, it has evolved further to mean extreme dedication to a cause or purpose, so extreme that one would "drink the Kool-Aid" and die for the cause.

The phrase originates from events in Guyana in 1978 in which over 900 members of the People Temple movement died.  The movement's leader called a mass meeting after the murder of a US congressman and proposed "revolutionary suicide" by way of ingesting a powdered drink mixed with lethally laced cyanide."

Sounds appealing, right?

This tells me you would be crazy to wrap any idea around the concept of Drinking the Kool-Aid, which is exactly why I'm going to do it.

***

My Kool-Aid started as a vaccine.

Actually, let me back that up.

The vaccine started as CAMP.

CAMP was a program I was designing to "Live Your Best Life".

Why CAMP?

Because  CAMP is what Lake Couchiching and O.S.S.S.A. Student Leadership was to me 30 years ago.  

CAMP is the place you go where memories and connections are created, that are irreplaceable and leave a mark on your life permanently.   

CAMP inspires you, breathes energy into you, connects you to nature and people, and an energy greater than you can achieve alone.

CAMP is a place all the spots get filled and there are waiting lists for the good ones.  

CAMP has structure and discipline, activities and play time....  

and because CAMP is a life-changing experience you will never forget. 

CAMP is where I could apply every leadership principle I've learned from Student Council to Fortune 500 companies and 20 years of self-help and management books, with my hospitality mindset of serving others through Inspiring Evolution.

CAMP was for me to inspire change through Connection, Accountability and Making Progress.

But CAMP didn't feel authentic to me.

For starters, acronyms and I are not friends and it felt cheesy and forced.  

I couldn't talk about the concept without over justifying my intentions and I certainly didn't sound sold.

After hours of synonyms and words for awareness, self realization, self actualization, inspiration, enrichment, spirituality, redefining, propelling, changing, enhancing, well-being, wellness, improvement and a laundry list of other marvelous uses of language, I started to think about what it was I wanted to achieve.

I wanted to create a framework to support personal growth and evolution that had levels and could help anyone achieve a new vision of how they wanted to live or a change they wanted to make.  

You could read the blog post, you could do the exercises or reflective questions, or you could attend some kind of call or online community to reinforce the material and connect with other "like minded" individuals also on this path.  

You could do 2 of 3, 3 of 3 or 1 of 3 and you don't need to choose ahead of time which.

Kinda like a vaccine.

I could share the science and knowledge of the serum, you could take the shot, or you could be all-in and come back for the booster.

(Is this a bad analogy?   Well, I'm using it anyways and I apologize to the pro-vaxxer's and anti-vaxxers... it's just an analogy, that is all.)

I am sure there would be an anti-vaxxer or two who think what I have to say isn't original, has already been done, or is completely ineffective - and I'd have a few individuals that were 99% successful at what they set out to achieve and 1-2% with side effects, up to and including complete failure.

I felt it was progress and traded in the concept of CAMP to start brainstorming the possibility of a vaccine.

I went through a whole bunch of names ...

The Self Improvement Vaccine

The Self Awareness Vaccine

The Self Realization Vaccine

The Spiritual Vaccine

The Self Discovery Vaccine

The Ideal Self Vaccine

Self Realization and Self Actualization are pretty much spot on, but the terminology isn't widely recognized so the resonance factor would be low.   

If you look it up though, "Self Actualization is the complete realization of one's potential and the full development of one's abilities and appreciation for life.  The concept is at the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and not everyone achieves it in life."

 BIG FAN OF THIS.

After much thought and reflection on the word vaccine and how cliché it was for me during a pandemic, I scrapped it and decided to rebel with Kool-Aid.

I will mix and serve the Kool-Aid, you can drink it or dump it down the sink.  

You can jack it up like an RBV and do the work or you can top it up and join an online community I have yet to create, but miraculously already have 6 members.

My role is to mix it and serve it.

My hope is that its' impact has no limits.

***

There is one really important thing to understand about change.

Change isn't about "Self Help" or "Self Improvement", as that would assume there is something wrong with us in the first place.

Change is best defined as "replacing (something) with something else, that is perceived as being better."

Change is just a swap.

A swap of one picture for another and choices made to bring that vision to life.

If I want to achieve a goal, I need to create what the finish line looks like in my mind.

If I am depressed, anxious or upset, what is the picture I see of pure happiness?

If I want to quit smoking or drinking, what does my life looks like without it?

If I want to lose weight, I need to create a picture of what I look like once my physical health is optimal.

We aren't "giving anything up".

We are "embracing" a new picture.

That's why so many of us fail on what we set out to achieve.

We suffer because we are attached to what we are giving up, instead of focusing on the picture of what it is we want to create.

The spark of lasting change requires drawing a new picture and making conscious choices and thoughts that support it.

***

I recently read a quote that said, "Don't dance around the perimeter of who you want to be."

I believe it's never too late.

In fact, there is absolutely no such thing as too late or too old.

"Every man must follow his own path.   You cannot choose it for them." 

(The Empire Strikes Back)

If you close your eyes right now - what does it look like in your mind if you achieve what it is you want to change?

That is what we call in business "The Desired State" and if I were to use the manual transmission metaphor, it's the 6th gear and it's only a thought and belief or two away.

Welcome to the Lemurian Portal.

What you seek lies right in front of you.   

As does what you fear.